{"id":2367,"date":"2026-05-15T19:39:13","date_gmt":"2026-05-15T19:39:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/drsoniafawad.com\/?p=2367"},"modified":"2026-05-15T19:39:13","modified_gmt":"2026-05-15T19:39:13","slug":"5-steps-to-overcome-vaginismus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/drsoniafawad.com\/?p=2367","title":{"rendered":"5 Steps to overcome Vaginismus"},"content":{"rendered":"


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<\/svg><\/span>Estimated reading time: <\/span>7<\/span> minutes<\/span><\/p>\n

Vaginismus is a condition in which an involuntary contraction of the pelvic floor muscles makes sexual intercourse difficult or impossible. It is a type of dyspareunia (which is pelvic or vaginal pain associated with intercourse); however, dyspareunia specifically relates to sexual pain, whereas vaginismus can also impede the use of tampons or prevent your gynecologist from performing an internal vaginal examination. The impact on quality of life can be substantial, particularly if you are in active sexual relationships.\u00a0<\/p>\n

The taboo surrounding pelvic floor dysfunction can make it difficult to seek treatment due to embarrassment and lack of knowledge about the legitimacy of your condition. Working up the courage to speak to your GP can take time, and fear around having an examination may also deter you, introducing unnecessary delay in getting treatment. Vaginismus can leave you feeling helpless and isolated.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

When you understand that the contraction of pelvic floor muscles is involuntary and know that it is outside your control, you may feel powerless. This site is all about helping you to empower yourself to overcome pelvic floor dysfunctions, including vaginismus, so in this article, we will explore some steps to help you overcome the condition.<\/p>\n

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The Protective Nervous System<\/h2>\n

If you have read our recent article asking the question if you should focus on length before strength <\/a>with pelvic floor dysfunction, you will have learned that the management of both length and strength is governed by your nervous system. The nervous system utilizes both the musculoskeletal system and the connective tissue system to manage the balance of tension throughout your body. It is this balance of tension that dictates if you have hypertonicity (tightness) or hypotonicity (laxity).<\/p>\n

The nervous system\u2019s primary function is to protect you to ensure your survival.<\/strong> <\/em>The protective responses from the nervous system would prove very useful if you were being chased by a saber toothed tiger \u2013 your heart rate and blood pressure would be increased to quickly ship nutrients out to major muscle groups so you could run quickly away, you pupils would dilate to ensure you can take in as much light as possible allowing you to see more of the environment around you. Your digestion is slowed so all of your energy can be used to get you out of that dangerous situation.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Autonomic Nervous System \u2013 PNS & SNS<\/mark><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Indeed the survival of our species was insured by the ability of the human nervous system to elicit protective responses. Those protective responses are not just the \u201cfight or flight\u201d type responses to get you away from that saber toothed tiger. Your nervous system communicates with you continuously sending sensations to guide you towards survival. The feeling of hunger is your nervous system telling you to eat to survive. The feeling of being tired is your nervous system telling you to sleep. Pain is also a message from your nervous system, telling you to be careful. The nervous system really is amazing, but not without its flaws.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Two Way Communication<\/h2>\n
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Unfortunately in it\u2019s drive to protect us, the nervous system can also initiate unnecessary and unwelcome muscle contractions, such as those involved in vaginismus. Thankfully communication is not \u201cone way\u201d. We communicate with our nervous system through movement, actions and thoughts<\/p>\n

When you get a hunger signal from your nervous system and you eat \u2013 that is your message in response to that signal. When you work hard at the gym to grow your muscles, you are sending a message to your nervous system: you are saying \u201cI need the strength to lift this heavy weight\u201d. There is a constant back and forth of messages between you and the system that ensures your survival.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Step 1 \u2013 Combat Negative Thinking<\/h3>\n

Have you ever noticed a visceral response in your body when remembering a horrible event from your past? You nervous system cannot tell the difference between your thoughts and what is actually happening presently. This is important to know because of its implication \u2013 what you think can impact what physically manifests in your body. Changing negative thoughts you may hold towards yourself, your body, or sex and sexuality can send a positive \u201csafety\u201d messages to your nervous system encouraging it to let go.<\/p>\n

If you have been to your doctor to discuss vaginismus, they may have suggested Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) which is a treatment often used to help with vaginismus.\u00a0 I know when CBT was first recommended to me, I was offended as it felt as thought I was being blamed for my pelvic floor dysfunction. By understanding how my thoughts could impact what was happening physically, I was able to make my peace with this type of therapy and it helped me immensely. \u00a0The most simple form of CBT I have used is Byron Katie\u2019s \u201cthe work\u201d<\/a>, which is a very effective way to address negative thought patterns.<\/p>\n

Step 2 \u2013 Vaginal Dilation<\/h3>\n

If you suffer from vaginismus, you may well have heard of vaginal dilation using dilators<\/a> or \u201ctrainers\u201d. So many people get in touch<\/a> to ask about dilators for \u201cstretching\u201d the vagina. When you use dilators, it\u2019s not so much about \u201cstretching\u201d the tissues. It\u2019s more about communicating safety to your nervous system. I believe that it matters where, when, how and with whom you use dilators as all of these can have an impact on whether or not you feel safe:<\/p>\n

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