Jaclyn Smith didn’t show the typical signs of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) when she was growing up.
Instead of checking locks or repeating physical tasks, the Charlie’s Angels star developed an internal coping mechanism to handle sudden grief.
An Unexpected Coping Mechanism
When Smith was 12 years old, her uncle died from the effects of alcohol addiction. Terrified of losing anyone else, she started obsessively praying for her family members to keep them safe.
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While it may not fit the public stereotype of the disorder, the International OCD Foundation recognizes this behavior as a mental compulsion. People may use repetitive prayers or thoughts as a way to counteract their extreme anxiety and, in their mind, prevent terrible things from happening.
“It’s really an unusual form of OCD,” Smith shared with People while discussing her new memoir, I Once Knew a Guy Named Charlie. “It all revolved around loved ones and prayer and sacrifice and manifesting. It just eased my anxiety and my nerves on the people I love so much, and I didn’t want to lose them.”
A Devastating Misdiagnosis
When the stress caused her to miss a period, her mother took her to get bloodwork. The doctor looked at the results, blamed her hormones, and told her she “might have trouble having a child.”
Back then, this was probably (and unfortunately) commonplace. But today, there’s evidence that normal hormonal fluctuations routinely cause obsessive-compulsive symptoms to flare up or worsen in the days leading up to a period.
“On a purely human level, it felt cruel to tell an anxious, grieving adolescent girl that she could be infertile,” Smith wrote. “He was the doctor, so I believed him, and my anxiety doubled instantly.”
Putting a Name to the Symptoms
Smith didn’t get any real answers until she took a psychology class in college. She read a description of OCD and instantly recognized her own childhood habits.
“It’s not fun being diagnosed (or self-diagnosing) with a psychiatric disorder, but at the same time I felt relieved,” Smith wrote. “There was a name for it, and I wasn’t alone!”
The doctor’s early infertility warning ultimately proved false, and she went on to have two children, Gaston and Spencer-Margaret, whom she admits she has arranged her “whole life around” them.
“Nothing was more important — today, too,” she says. “I mean, they’re everything. They can make or break your day. If they’re not happy, it affects me. You never stop worrying about your kids.”
