Benny Blanco credits a very specific mental health practice for helping him find his wife, Selena Gomez.

On a recent episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, the 38-year-old producer shared that creating a structured manifestation list with his therapist helped him clarify what he truly needed in an “ideal partner.” The exercise worked; Blanco married Gomez in September 2025.

“I said, ‘I really wanna find the right partner, and I’m doing something wrong,” Blanco recalls of the conversation with his therapist. “And we came up with some guidelines and a list.”


What Really Matters When Looking for a Partner 

Instead of focusing on superficial physical details, Blanco listed foundational qualities like being “age-appropriate,” genuinely nice, and compassionate.

“These were like broad things, and if it didn’t meet those like first five or six things, [I] couldn’t even pursue,” he said.

One of the most important items on Blanco’s list was finding a partner who “woke up generally happy,” but was also “actively” willing to work through their hard days.

“And if they were sad, they were doing something about it.” he continued. “Like they were going to therapy, they were taking medicine if they need to, they were doing yoga.”

Handling the Hard Days Together 

That emotional maturity naturally aligned with Gomez, who openly advocates for psychiatric care while managing bipolar disorder. 

“It is helpful to have a partner that will understand where the temperature is at and meet you where you are,” Gomez said on an episode of Blanco’s podcast, Friends Keep Secrets. 

Blanco is equally transparent about his own mental health journey. In a recent interview with Audacy, Blanco admitted to getting “crippled by anxiety.” 

“It’s OK to not be OK all the time,” he added. “I feel like more people should just be real about it and say that everything isn’t always perfect. It’s not always fine. We’re always in some sort of battle, and you should talk about it, and talk to other people, and find someone great that you can talk to.”

Doing that emotional groundwork is exactly what prepared Blanco for his marriage. Even though he and Gomez first crossed paths 15 years ago, he admits that getting together back then just wasn’t in the cards. 

“We worked together five or six years after that, and then again five or six years after that, and had a casual friendship… then we started dating a few years after that,” he told Robbins. “We always talk about how it never would’ve worked out if it were at a different time or place in our lives, because neither one of us would’ve likely been ready.”



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